Me (27F) is dated a guy (26M) for a few days and brought him over for some fwb fun. When we were getting hot n heavy, I gestures him down there and he said he does not do that. He gave me an example of how when someone asks him if he want to smoke ( he doesn’t smoke and never has) he says no and it’s a hard no. So when I gestured him to go down south he said no and it’s a hard no.
I asked him why and he said that it’s not something he does or ever wants to do and will only do it for his Wife maybe on her birthday. He then asked for head and when I said no he got so offended and asked me if I was a lesbian because no girl has ever refused him head and I was so keen on asking him to go down that he questioned if I prefer girls.
It got kind of awkward and I said I was hungry and that he should go which he did.
He text me the next day to hangout again and I want to tell him that without a trip to the lady pond it’s never gonna happen.
is this a deal breaker or nah?
EDIT: Wow thank you all for the upvotes and comments. I’m honestly trying to read most of them.
Most reoccurring comments
- He is not married. He meant his future wife
- We are based in San Francisco (where dating is horrible I might add)
It’s normal to make excuses for someone you’re interested in…heck, it may even be our brains’ way of handling denial/rejection/etc.
But please, I beg of you to remember that:
- If they wanted to see you, they would make the time for you.
- If they wanted to talk, they’d call or text.
- If they were interested in you — really interested in you in the way that you deserve to be cared for — they would put in the effort to see you and make you feel special
- If they wanted to be with you…you’d have no doubt in your mind.
Forget all of the games and mental gymnastics that come with dating. The right person will make sure that their actions don’t leave you confused, doubtful, or hurt. The right person will make you feel secure and stable. Don’t settle for anything less, friends.