Fwb refuses to go down on me. says he’s a saving his tongue for his Wife

Me (27F) is dated a guy (26M) for a few days and brought him over for some fwb fun. When we were getting hot n heavy, I gestures him down there and he said he does not do that. He gave me an example of how when someone asks him if he want to smoke ( he doesn’t smoke and never has) he says no and it’s a hard no. So when I gestured him to go down south he said no and it’s a hard no.

I asked him why and he said that it’s not something he does or ever wants to do and will only do it for his Wife maybe on her birthday. He then asked for head and when I said no he got so offended and asked me if I was a lesbian because no girl has ever refused him head and I was so keen on asking him to go down that he questioned if I prefer girls.

It got kind of awkward and I said I was hungry and that he should go which he did.

He text me the next day to hangout again and I want to tell him that without a trip to the lady pond it’s never gonna happen.

is this a deal breaker or nah?

EDIT: Wow thank you all for the upvotes and comments. I’m honestly trying to read most of them.

Most reoccurring comments

  1. He is not married. He meant his future wife
  2. We are based in San Francisco (where dating is horrible I might add)
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It’s normal to make excuses for someone you’re interested in…heck, it may even be our brains’ way of handling denial/rejection/etc.

But please, I beg of you to remember that:

  • If they wanted to see you, they would make the time for you.
  • If they wanted to talk, they’d call or text.
  • If they were interested in you — really interested in you in the way that you deserve to be cared for — they would put in the effort to see you and make you feel special
  • If they wanted to be with you…you’d have no doubt in your mind.

Forget all of the games and mental gymnastics that come with dating. The right person will make sure that their actions don’t leave you confused, doubtful, or hurt. The right person will make you feel secure and stable. Don’t settle for anything less, friends.

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You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

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  • Because it will help you focus your own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus your own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.

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